Friday, April 22, 2011

Reviewing Things My Mom Bought Me: Toothbrush Of The Gods

So my mommy buys me things sometimes (yes at 29 years old I shop with my mom all the time it is great shut up) and I was having trouble with my teeth (thank you blocked sinuses). She bought me the mighty powerbrush that is the Oral B Vitality with little flossies and it is so very awesome. I have a few teeth that are, like, etched, or something, and they don't come clean unless I rub them with a towel corner after brushing and this thing got them clean. Seriously, this is huge for me.
Also, I hate flossing because my teeth are huge and crowded and my jaw is tiny (insert big mouth jokes here and also thanks for almost nothing, orthodontic expanders and wisdom tooth surgery). But the Reach Access flosser is brilliant and I have actually flossed almost every day since I got it which ends up totaling just about as many times as I've flossed the whole rest of my adult life combined. I hate that it's disposable, but I also want to keep my teeth in my head and also not die of heart infections from diseased gums and other horrible scare-stories so I think I will just have to accept the tiny bits of plastic that will be thrown away after they wear out.

Just thought you might like to know.

In other buying-things news (which I totally shouldn't be doing but I am telling myself is for job interviews and going back to school-ness), I am attempting to pick out some fancy new bras in the hope that one might actually fit my saggy old-lady 34Fs. Also royal blue babydoll toe pumps on Ebay - 3 inch heels in leather, or 2.75 in velvet? Stay tuned!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I Would Watch The Hell Out Of This Show.

It occurred to me today that "To Catch A Predator" would be even funnier if Chris Hansen teamed up with Tom Bergeron and the America's Funniest Videos team. Between the two of them, I think we could reach sex-predator-mocking critical velocity, and the videos are already absurd as it is. Maybe while Hansen interviews them, Bergeron can give us the color commentary as the decoy actress comes out and hits them in the balls with a poorly-swung pinata bat, or knocks them into a pool or something. This could be great!
NBC, get on it!